


The Three Date Rule

by Cy_kun



Series: Son of Batman [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Streets of Gotham
Genre: Discussions of sex, M/M, Spoilers for The Force Awakens, attempts at fluff, attempts at humor, find out here!, going into other boy bits, in case anyone hasn't seen it yet, mentions of boy bits, the hormone fairy was very mean to Colin, they're fourteen now, will they ever fuck?, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:11:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8134927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cy_kun/pseuds/Cy_kun
Summary: "Mr Wayne, can I PLEASE marry Damian now?"Or, the one where Colin is completely ready to lose his virginity.





	

“Mr Wayne, can I _please_ marry Damian now?”

Colin stood on the other side of Mr Wayne's desk, trying as hard as he could not to fidget, or blush, or do anything but maintain _manly eye contact_. It was hard, because, Batman suit or not, it was impossible to forget that Mr Wayne was the _actual Batman_. At least he was sitting down. Dami was _totally_ right about the whole being at eye level thing. Mr Wayne wasn't... Okay, he was _just_ as intimidating sitting down as he is standing up, but Colin had grown a bit since the last time he'd had one of these talks with Mr Wayne and, if Mr Wayne was sitting down and Colin was standing, Colin was actually just a tiny bit _taller than Batman_ and it did a world of good for his self-confidence. (Dami had called it a “psychological advantage”, and Colin had kissed him for being adorable) Honestly, he had _no idea_ how he ever managed to summon up enough courage to ask for Dami's hand when he was _ten_ and Mr Wayne was _standing in front of him_. He'd been either the stupidest or the bravest kid in the world, back then.

Colin wasn't a kid anymore, though. He was fourteen years old. Almost a man in the eyes of most of the countries in the world—hell, in China and parts of South America he was _already_ a man in the eyes of the law, at least—and he needed more than anything for Mr Wayne to _see_ him as a man, and not a naive little kid who thought he needed to be married to kiss the love of his life.

(He completely ignored the fact that even _having_ a “love of his life” at the age of ten was kind of naive and immature. Anyone with half a brain could see he and Dami would have ended up together eventually. At least, that's what Dick always said, and even _Dami_ admitted that Dick was the smartest of his brothers. Although, not exactly in those words, and considering how he felt about Timmy and, until last year, Jason, it wasn't exactly the ringing endorsement it might sound like.)

Anyway, none of that really mattered right then. The only thing that mattered was Colin had grown up. And part of growing up was realizing things that seemed like the greatest, most amazing, nothing-can-ever-top-this things ever, weren't actually because there were things that were even _better_.

Take kissing.

Not that Colin didn't _love_ kissing Dami. He did. He loved it a lot. Just like he loved hugging Dami and— _touching_ Dami. It was all great, and awesome, and felt really really good.

But there was a lot more to sweet loving than kissing and some over the clothes touching.

Kind of a disturbing amount of more, actually.

Colin blamed the orphanage. For a place run by nuns who seem to think love is all about praying to Jesus and showering with their eyes closed in their underwear—and Colin _never_ wants to think about how he knows that—there's a surprising amount of... _stuff_ that goes on behind those supposedly holy walls. Not that Colin's _done_ any of it! No way, he'd never cheat on Dami, that wasn't the point of all this. The _point_ was that he wanted to do all that stuff _with_ Dami.

And apparently enough of the religion stuff had actually sunk in over the years, because he really didn't feel right going too much farther without being Dami's lawfully wedded husband.

Which brings him right back around to trying to get Batman to bless his courtship.

Again.

Mr Wayne stared at him for the longest time before putting down the piece of paper he was reading. He glanced at the door—which Colin had kind of expected, honestly—but only for a moment before turning his full attention back to Colin.

“Is...Damian home?”

“Oh, no, not yet,” Colin reassured him. He knew Damian was supposed to be over at Tara Charleston’s house finishing up a project for their AP Science class, and Colin didn't want Mr Wayne thinking Dami was slacking off with his schoolwork. (Even though he totally was and the only reason he was bothering with this project was because he thought Tara's dad had mob connections and he wanted to search the house.) “I came here to talk to you when he wasn't here so we wouldn't be interrupted.”

Mr Wayne didn't seem too reassured.

“I see,” he said. “That was...very thoughtful.”

Colin beamed. He _knew_ Batman would approve of good planning. This was going better than he thought.

“And,” Mr Wayne continued, “you wanted to talk to me about marrying Damian?”

Colin nodded rapidly.

“ _Again_.”

Colin kept nodding.

Mr Wayne rubbed his eyes. “You know, you don't actually need to ask m—” He shook his head. “Actually, you're still too young—”

“Actually, sir, I'm not. Well, I kind of am, but state law says that anyone under the age of sixteen can legally get married if they have the parent's permission and the approval of the court. Since I'm an orphan, and no court in Gotham is gonna say no to a _Wayne_ , all we need is you to say yes.”

Colin smiled and tried not to show how relieved he was that he remembered all that.

“...right.” Mr Wayne looked very... _nonplussed_. Which actually had nothing to do with math (like Colin originally thought when he overheard Jason saying it when he was talking to Timmy) and everything to do with being so confused he didn't know what to say. Which—and Colin didn't want to seem rude so he'd never say this out loud, but it didn't really seem like a very _Batman_ reaction. Colin had been clear and concise, relaying just the facts as efficiently as he could.

Apparently, Dami was right about people in his family not understanding plain English, too.

“Look, Colin, I—” He broke off mid sentence, looking at Colin the exact way Dami always did when he was realizing something unpleasant. “The first time you asked about marrying Damian, it was because you wanted to kiss him...”

Colin didn't exactly get the impression he was being asked a question, but he still answered. “Yep.”

Mr Wayne scowled. “So,” he growled, “why are you asking to marry my _son_ this—”

“Ah! Young Mister Wilkes, I hoped I might find you here.”

Both Mr Wayne and Colin were startled by Alfred suddenly walking into the study. Colin cocked his head, he was _sure_ he locked the door behind him when he came in, but Alfred probably has lots of keys and stuff, being the butler and all.

“I do hope I'm not too late?” Alfred asked, glancing back and forth between the both of them.

“Too late for what, Alfred?” Mr Wayne asked, still glaring at Colin. “Me and Colin were just having a _talk_ about why he wants to marry Damian.”

“Ah,” Alfred said, disappointed. “I'd hoped to arrive before the conversation progressed this far.”

“What do you mean?” Mr Wayne asked, still not taking his eyes away from Colin.

_Doesn't he need to blink?_

“You see, sir,” Alfred said, “I'm afraid Master Jason thought it would be amusing to have young Colin here intimate a, shall we say, less than savory interest in Master Damian in your presence.”

_What?_

Colin had no idea what half of that meant...but it sounded like—

“Are you saying Jason put Colin up to asking to marry Damian as a _joke_?” Mr Wayne asked.

“Yes, sir. I'm afraid so.”

_No!_

Colin opened his mouth to tell Mr Wayne that wasn't what happened at all, but at that very moment Alfred turned his head just enough to _look_ at Colin, and suddenly Colin found himself totally unable to speak.

 _...I'll never laugh when this happens to Dami ever again_.

“Is that right?” Mr Wayne asked Colin this time.

Even though he didn't quite understand what was going on, something told him it was in his best interest to nod and say “yes”.

So that's what he did.

Mr Wayne didn't seem totally convinced, but he didn't seem like he wanted to find out if Colin was telling the truth, either. In fact, he seemed kind of eager to just forget the whole thing had ever happened.

And so, less than a minute later, Colin found himself walking down the hall with Alfred. They made it just far enough away from Mr Wayne's study so they couldn't see the door anymore when Alfred touched Colin's shoulder, bringing them to a stop.

“Why did you lie, Alfred?” Colin asked suddenly, as if that touch had broken whatever spell the old butler had laid on him.

Instead of denying it or being insulted Colin even asked, Alfred just smiled. “Because I've grown quite fond of you over the years, young sir, as I have of Master Damian, and I would have hated to see the distress it would have caused the both of you if Master Bruce decided to force a separation.”

Colin blinked. He wasn't always the best at understanding the big words Alfred used, but he'd been around him enough to be able to guess right most of the time.

“You think he would have made me and Dami break up!?” Colin wailed. “Just for wanting to get _married_?”

“I think,” Alfred said, “it would have been the _reason_ you wanted to get married that would have upset him.”

Colin blushed at the knowing look the butler was giving him.

_Oh....OH!_

He kind of had almost told Batman he wanted to have sex with his son, didn't he?

“O-oh.” Colin swallowed roughly. “But....I mean....do you think he'll.... _always,_ um, _force a separation_ if I wanna get...closer with Dami?”

Alfred seemed slightly surprised that Colin was asking, but he answered anyway. “No matter _how_ Master Bruce might feel, I think that eventually you and Master Damian will both come of age and—”

“You mean we have to wait until we're _eighteen_?”

That was _forever_ from now! Colin didn't think he could wait that long. Especially since their make out sessions had been getting _really_ hot lately. It was hard enough holding back when he felt bad about not being married yet, but _now_ if he went farther Mr Wayne was going to make Dami break up with him and—

“But what if it's an accident? Sometimes when we're kissing I don't even know that my hands are _doing anything_ but then we stop and Dami's clothes are all _unbuttoned_ and—”

“Mr Wilk... _Colin_ ,” Alfred cut him off with an amused smile. “I don't think I need to hear the particulars to understand your meaning. And, while personally I applaud your intention to remain abstinent until marriage, and would normally recommend waiting until you are both of age to pursue any...romantic activities...I _have_ raised or helped to raise five different teenaged boys in my lifetime. I'm well aware of the futility of expecting them to remain chaste. I fully expect you and Master Damian to be little different in this regard.”

Colin puzzled that out for a few minutes.

“So...I have _your_ permission to be, uh, romantic with Dami?”

This might actually work out so much better. _Everyone_ knew Alfred was, like, the actual _god_ in Wayne Manor. If _he_ didn't have a problem with it, then it didn't matter what Mr Wayne thought!

“I wouldn't say you have my permission, exactly. Just my...understanding, if you and Master Damian should get carried away at some point in the future. Teenage hormones are difficult to control. I would most strenuously object to Master Bruce causing you or Master Damian any unnecessary hardship should your passions get the better of you.”

_Translation: He won't let Mr Wayne force Dami to break up with me for having sex!_

He flung himself at Alfred and wrapped the old man in a hug.

“You're the _best_ , Alfred!”

After a small hesitation, Alfred hugged him back. “Yes. Well. Thank you.”

“So,” Colin said after letting Alfred go. “How come _you're_ so understanding about this, and Mr Wayne isn't? I thought he was really logical and smart and stuff. Didn't he raise teenage boys too? Does he...does he _hate_ me?”

“Not at all,” Alfred assured him. “Master Bruce is just very protective of all his children. Master Damian especially, since he feels personally responsible for not being able to mitigate the suffering of his earlier years spent with his mother.”

Colin nodded slowly. Damian had told him a lot about what his life was like before he came to live with Mr Wayne. If _he_ had a son who went through half of that, he'd probably feel guilty and overprotective too.

“Also,” Alfred said. He hesitated for a moment, and then went on. “I believe Master Bruce knows Master Damian's personality and, while I don't wish to scare you, I believe he worries about certain violent tendencies Master Damian has and how those might present themselves during an intimate encounter. If I know Master Bruce, thinking about his son hurting you during intercourse would most likely upset him and trigger his feelings of guilt. After all, what father wants to assume his son will injure someone he knows he cares deeply for?”

That one took a bit longer to figure out. But, like he mentioned before, Colin knew a _lot_ more about sex stuff than he probably should, including the way gay guys had sex, so he got it in the end.

“You mean he thinks... That Dami... That _I'd_...” Colin blushed. “Oh. Well, uh, he doesn't have to worry about that. I, uh, I'm not really all that interested in having anything...you know. _..put anywhere,_ you know?”

Alfred raised an eyebrow. “Truly?”

Colin nodded rapidly. “Oh yeah. That doesn't seem like I'd like it at all.” It was probably a good idea not to mention he'd experimented a bit _back there_ with his fingers and some other stuff he'd found lying around the orphanage and _really_ hadn't enjoyed it _at all_. He nodded again, forcefully, and grinned up at Alfred. “I'm _definitely_ the one that's gonna be putting things in Dami. So, you can tell Mr Wayne he doesn't even have to worry about me. And tell him I won't hurt Dami either! I've been reading a lot about it and I'm pretty sure I know _everything_ I need to know about topping Dami for the first time. I'm gonna make his first time so special, and make him feel _so_ good, you can tell—”

“I think,” Alfred cut in quickly, “that I might attempt to convey the...spirit, of what you've said, but perhaps not the exact content.”

Colin shrugged. “Whatever you think is best!” He glanced at his watch, and was surprised to see it was close to the time Dami would be getting home. He didn't want Dami to see him here and ask why he was over when he knew Dami was out. He never wanted to lie to Dami, but he wanted what he was planning to be a surprise.

“Oh, uh, how did you know what I was gonna ask Mr Wayne anyway?” Colin asked.

“Master Wayne's office door isn't as thick as you might think,” Alfred said. “I was passing by in the hall and when I overheard your question I decided to wait outside in case the conversation became...unpleasant.”

“You were _eavesdropping_?”

Alfred raised an eyebrow. “I was cleaning,” he said mildly.

Colin giggled, then smiled at the butler. “Thanks Alfred, you've been a really big help!”

As he left, he realized it might have been rude to just run away without waiting for Alfred to say goodbye (or without actually, you know, saying goodbye himself). He almost considered going back to apologize, but he _really_ wanted to get out of there before Dami got back. Besides, he had way more important things to be doing than running all over Dami's house trying to find Alfred.

He had a _seduction_ to plan.

 

* * *

 

 

Colin's Seduction of Damian started with a date.

Three dates, really, because even though it was probably cliché (and they'd had, like, _thousands_ of dates already) Colin was still feeling more than a little religious guilt about planning to deflower Dami without at least being engaged. The least he could do was take Dami on three dates before he made his move because, according to some of the older girls at the orphanage, only a slut puts out before the third date, and Colin would stay a virgin _forever_ before he treated Dami like a slut. Plus, this whole thing wasn't just about the physical stuff. Sure, Colin's entire sexual awakening revolved around Dami's lips—hell, Colin never even knew what sexuality _was_ before Dami's lips. And yeah, he really, really wanted to see Dami naked, but he didn't want to _screw_ him or _fuck_ him or any of that stuff. He wanted them to _make love_. When they finally got together like that, he wanted it to be the most perfect expression of four years of love and friendship and being each other's _soulmates._ He'd always been able to tell Dami that he loved him, now he wanted to _show_ him.

So instead of just sticking himself inside Dami, he had to take him to the bumper cars first.

Because bumper cars were _so much fun_. And, kind of suggestive too, with all the slamming and low lighting and thumping bass coming from the overhead speakers. The bumper cars were foreplay, or at least as close as Colin could get on date number one, and he had hope that by the time date number three was over, Dami would look back on their time ramming each other with cars and realize that Colin had slowly and subtly been weaving a web of seduction for a long time.

The date went...about as well as could be expected, in hindsight.

Colin had made Dami wear his thickest pair of boots, which was great pre-planning on his part because even with the added inch of height Dami _just_ barely met the height requirement, but he'd kind of forgotten how insanely competitive Dami could be. Well, okay, he had to give himself _some_ credit. He hadn't forgotten so much as he hadn't thought it would matter, since, in addition to being _fun as hell,_ he'd chosen the bumper cars because there wasn't any kind of scoreboard or anything. What he hadn't taken into account were that there was a set of clearly posted rules, the biggest and boldest of which was **DO NOT BUMP PEOPLE FROM BEHIND**. He hadn't thought the rules would be much of a problem, but that was before some twelve year old smashed his car into the back of Dami's five times in a row and the attendant was too busy reading her copy of _Gotham Gazette_ to notice. And while they didn't _exactly_ get banned for life when Dami jumped out of his car after bump number six, tore her magazine up, and told her that she was under-qualified for a job where all she had to do was sit on a stool and breathe, it didn't really create the mood Colin was going for either.

For date number two, Colin made the executive decision to keep Dami as far away from other people as possible.

“Ah, young Mister Wilkes,” Alfred said as he answered the door. “I was wondering when we'd be seeing you again. You're just in time for lunch, although it looks like you might have that taken care of already.”

Colin grinned up at the old butler and tightened his grip on his picnic basket. “Yep! I'm taking Dami out for a romantic date.”

Alfred smiled. “How sweet of you.”

“Thanks!” He bit his lip. “Um, and I'm sorry for running out without saying bye last time.”

“That's quite all right, sir. After raising several generations of Wayne children the fact that you apologized without having it dragged out of you is more than enough to make up for any slight rudeness.” Colin let out a relieved breath. It would totally suck if he pissed off the one person who could stop Batman from killing him after he took his son's virginity. Plus he'd always liked Alfred. “I believe Master Damian is in his room. Though you may have some trouble getting him to wake up.”

Colin felt his cheeks warm as he thought of a dozen _inventive_ ways to wake Dami up.

_No! Not until the third date. I don't wanna seduce a half asleep Dami for our first time._

“That's okay. I'm good at getting him off— _up_! Um. Awake.” Colin was sure his face was as red as a firetruck. “Um. I'll just go do that.”

He ducked under Alfred's arm and scurried into the manor, hoping against hope that Alfred just started having hearing problems and hadn't understood his stupid slip up. He got three feet in before he realized he was about to do the thing again, and shouted “bye Alfred!” over his shoulder.

Dami's room was on the second floor, and the stupid basket was a lot heavier than it had been an hour ago when he left the orphanage, so by the time he got to Dami's door he was a little winded and flushed for a whole different reason. He took a few minutes to catch his breath—splotchy, panting Colin was _not_ sexy _or_ romantic—then knocked on Dami's door. It was their secret knock, the one that they'd had since they were kids and neither one of them could remember who came up with, and like magic, instead of the thump of a dagger hitting the door or a slightly mumbled threat of murder, a minute later the door opened on a disheveled, barely-awake Dami. He was wearing a black silk pajama shirt, but still had his Robin tights on. His hair stuck up in a million different directions and the shirt was only half buttoned, showing off a tight chest and more smooth, tanned skin than Colin was comfortable with when he was trying _not_ to treat Dami like a slut.

“Why am I awake?” Dami growled. Like everything else Dami did, it was adorable, and Colin's hands itched to ruffle his spiky little head.

It was probably a good thing that they were busy holding the Basket of Fluctuating Weight.

“I brought a picnic!” Colin smiled and held the basket up in front of Dami's face.

Dami blinked tiredly, knuckled his eyes—which did _nothing_ to help with the urge to pet him—and finally seemed to focus on the basket.

“What?”

“A picnic,” Colin repeated. “I thought we could go on one. Maybe to the park—or we could stay on the grounds,” he added quickly when Dami's eye started to twitch. “Just somewhere where it's just the two of us, nice and secluded...”

Colin hoped his suave suggestiveness wasn't being ruined too badly by the way his arms were starting to shake from holding the basket out for so long.

“...I just got to sleep three hours ago.”

Colin slumped—although he was kind of relieved at the excuse to let the basket down.

“Oh,” he said. _Stupid! You should have realized he'd be too tired for this!_ “Are you sure?” Colin tried.

“Am I sure that I've only been asleep for three hours?”

Colin nodded, warming up to the idea. “Yeah, maybe your clock's broken?”

“All _three_ of my clocks are in pristine condition, and they're all set to the exact time of the at—”

“Atomic clock, right.” _Idiot, he's only told you that like five times and it's not like you've never seen his clocks before._ Colin slumped again. “I'm sorry...”

Dami didn't say anything.

Colin sighed. “I'll just let you get back to sleep.”

He turned to go, but Dami grabbed his arm.

“Wait.”

He looked back at Dami, who seemed more awake now and was chewing his lip and staring at the picnic basket like it was the first time he was seeing it.

“Come on,” Dami said sharply. Colin didn't have a chance to respond before Dami was dragging him into his bedroom.

How he didn't drop the basket or fall over was a mystery that would stay unsolved for the rest of his life.

Dami marched them over to his bed—the rest of his Robin costume was thrown on the floor, along with at least five different mismatched sets of pajama pants and tops—and only let go when they were standing in front of it. He smoothed out the covers the best he could, then climbed up onto the mattress.

“We can have your picnic here,” Dami said, not quite meeting Colin's eyes.

“On the bed?”

“Yes.” Dami nodded. “It's not as...romantic as a park or somewhere on the grounds, but...” Even though the curtains were closed and it was really dark in Dami's room, Colin was almost one hundred percent sure he was blushing slightly.

Colin brightened immediately. “Yeah! That sounds great!”

He climbed up on the bed and _finally_ got to put the basket down. After hesitating for a few seconds, Dami sat down next to him. He looked so sleepy and cute that Colin couldn't help leaning over and giving him a quick kiss. To his surprise, Dami whole face broke out in a furious blush.

_Huh. My kisses haven't done that in a while._

Maybe it was because he was tired, because Dami yawned, or maybe it was because he was hungry, because after the yawn Dami looked down at the picnic basket and wouldn't look back up. Colin shrugged, then started getting their food ready. Well, first he took out the checkered blanket and put it on the bed— _is the blanket still romantic if we're on a bed? It seems kinda redundant...—_ and then took out the plastic containers he _may_ have borrowed from Alfred a few months ago and forgot to give back. He handed Dami the one with his favorite vegetarian meal, the one that Colin could never pronounce right, and smiled when Dami looked surprised.

“Did you make this?” he asked.

Colin beamed. “Yep!”

Dami smiled softly, this time without any trace of a blush. “Thank you.” He opened it and Colin quickly handed him a packet of plastic utensils. For a minute he thought Dami might complain about eating with a plastic fork (he still remembered how much Dami used to hate eating off paper plates because they were too _plebeian,_ but he used to hate hugs, video games, and Dick for the same reason and now he was pretty into all of that) but Dami just opened them without complaint and took a big bite of his food.

Dami's eyebrows rose. “This is very good.”

Colin rolled his eyes. “You could act a little less surprised.”

“You regularly burn eggs.”

“I haven't done that in weeks!”

“You haven't cooked eggs in weeks.”

“Because I've been practicing making this for you!”

“Yew 'een pra'ticin' for 'eeks?” Dami asked around a mouthful of half chewed food.

Colin nodded, not even a little grossed out. Actually he was starting to feel a bit guilty—Dami must be really tired if he was talking with his mouth full.

“It took a while to get it right, especially since I couldn't taste it. All vegetarian food tastes like grass to me. But Alfred tried it a few times and he said this batch tasted almost exactly like his, so I figured it was pretty good.”

Dami swallowed. “It is.” He glanced away and flushed again. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

“You're welcome.” _Ugh, you're supposed to be romantic. This is a romantic date! Don't say 'you're welcome', say..._ “I'd do anything for you Dami. Because I love you.”

Dami's breath hitched, and he accidentally inhaled a bit of the food he was just about to eat. A minute later his coughing had stopped, and Colin was rubbing his back and trying _really_ hard not to freak out about almost killing his boyfriend.

 _Romantic! That was supposed to be romantic! Killing Dami is the total opposite of romance_. _He's supposed to melt in my arms on the third date, not die in them on the second._

Still, he hadn't _actually_ died, so maybe Colin could get a do over.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “But I really do love you, and I really would do anything for you.”

Dami seemed like he was prepared for it this time.

“I-I love you too,” he said, looking down at the bed. Colin nearly swooned.

_He's so cute!_

Colin grinned and gave Dami a hug.

And then he made he mistake of glancing down Dami's shirt. It really was barely buttoned up, and Colin got a nice eyeful of Dami's tanned stomach and he suddenly realized that he was all alone in Dami's room, on Dami's _bed_ with an almost-topless Dami. It would be _so easy_ to just reach out and...touch.

Colin really, really wanted to touch.

_No! Bad Colin!_

He sprung away from Dami like he was on fire.

Which was probably not the best thing to do with his boyfriend, because now Dami looked hurt and, yeah, Colin could totally understand how Dami might...misunderstand why touching him was suddenly the last thing Colin wanted to do.

_This is really bad. How do I fix this without getting too turned on?_

Colin thought for a moment, then gently pat Dami on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” he said. “I thought I saw a spider in your hair.”

He was really glad that Dami wasn't too scared of spiders, because it really didn't take any time at all to convince him that the fictional spider was nowhere near him anymore.

After that, they settled down and had a pretty nice lunch.

Or at least Colin thought so. He'd been keeping up a pretty decent stream of conversation—taking special care not to talk with his mouth full, Dami had trained him out of that _years_ ago and he'd know something was up if Colin forgot and started doing it again—mostly about things that were in no way sexy, like The Joker or that weird crud that builds up in the corners of Mrs Rebenok's mouth when she lectures for the whole period. (Looking back, he might have mentioned the mouth-crud a little too much, but Gotham Academy was supposed to be all upper class and stuff! They should screen their teachers for disgusting things like that.) He thought he was being interesting and funny and witty, and that Dami would notice and be impressed about how good— _well,_ how _well,_ he needed to use proper grammar or Damian definitely wouldn't be impressed _—_ Colin could carry a conversation. But when he finished his food and finally paused to let Dami say something (looking back he also probably should have done that a lot more) he saw that his boyfriend was almost passed out face first in his vegetarian slop.

_Oh no! Am I really that boring?_

Colin silently panicked about that for a while before he remembered how tired Dami was.

_Oh. Right. He's been up all night and he's on a bed. Of course he's almost asleep._

The panic was gone, but now Colin was just feeling kinda depressed. This was their _second date._ There couldn't be a _third_ without the second laying the groundwork for seduction. Was he going to have to do the second date all over again? Well, this date seemed like it was over anyway. He might as well just pack up the food and let Dami—

“Where are you going?” Dami asked, slurring his words, as Colin did just that and was about to leave.

“I'm gonna go give your lunch to Alfred so he can heat it up later when you wake up, then I'm gonna go—”

“No.”

Colin blinked. “Huh? You...don't want it? Was it that ba—”

“It was delicious. Sleep with me.”

“ _What_!?”

It was a good thing Colin hadn't actually picked up the Basket of Doom off the floor yet, because he definitely would have dropped it.

“I'm tired and I don't want you to leave, so you're staying with me while I sleep.”

 _Oh. OH. He means_ actual _sleep._

“I am?”

Dami nodded, or at least that's what Colin assumed his head jerk was supposed to be. “I've decided.”

Colin's lips twitched. “You're adorable when you're being a dictator.”

Dami grunted and collapsed on the comforter. He rolled three times until he was in the middle of the bed, taking the covers with him and wrapping them tightly around him like a cocoon.

“You may hold me, if you can't stop yourself.”

_Translation: Please cuddle me._

There was pretty much no chance of Colin resisting that. He was in the bed and scooting up behind Dami before he could remember that A) he wasn't at all tired or B) being pressed up against Dami's back was _definitely_ not a second date activity.

_He's so soft, though..._

Dami must have been _really_ tired, because the second Colin's arms were wrapped around him he let out a tiny, adorable little sigh and actually _cuddled Colin back_ before dropping off to sleep. Soft, purring snores filled the room a moment later.

Colin was so hard a light breeze _outside_ would have made him explode.

 _Oh, this is really bad. Dami's sleeping and all I wanna do it rub against him. This bed would be_ perfect _for our first time, too... No! Stop being a pervert, Colin! Dami's trusting you not to be weird while he's sleeping!_

Colin pressed his lips together and nodded with determination. His chin bopped Dami in the head and Dami's snores hitched a bit before smoothing out again.

_Don't worry Dami, no matter how comfortable this bed is I won't ravish you on it yet!_

And so date number two ended with Colin staring at the back of Dami's head for a solid eight hours, too aroused, nervous, and steadfast in his resolve not to taint Dami's innocence (yet!) to sleep.

It was probably the best second date in the history of romance.

 

* * *

 

 

The third date almost didn't happen. For three weeks Colin tried his best to get Dami alone, but every criminal and weirdo in Gotham had gotten wind of his plans and really hated the idea of Robin spending time with his boyfriend—or at least that's the only thing Colin could assume. There were non-stop riots and gang wars and escapes from Arkham and Dami wasn't nearly as good at running on two hours of sleep as Mr Wayne and Timmy were. Every time they hung out together ended with Dami falling asleep, usually on Colin. Not that he was complaining, Dami sleeping was the most adorable thing ever, but it was so hard to seduce a sleeping person. By week number four, Colin was starting to get desperate. What if he _never_ got to be romantic with Dami again? That was unacceptable. They barely even made out anymore, and Colin's lips were feeling incredibly neglected. The problem was, he had no idea what he could do to help.

The solution actually came to him by accident.

Well, okay, maybe not by _accident_. The _eavesdropping_ was an accident, the decision to stay still and listen to the conversation between Dick and Mr Wayne wasn't. He didn't even feel bad about it. He was too busy running on the high of being one of the few people in the world who'd actually managed to sneak up on _Batman_ and _Nightwing_ and not be discovered. Plus that whole solution to his problem thing, which came when he overheard them talking about the recent crime wave.

“ _Bruce, this is getting ridiculous. If Clark helps out this one time it's not gonn—”_

“ _No.”_

“ _But—”_

“ _No. No metas. No outside help. Gotham is mine.”_

“ _....I guess pointing out—again--how_ desperately _we need help is pointless, isn't it.”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _This going it alone thing is getting really old. Kinda like yo—”_

Colin didn't hear what Mr Wayne said after that. His voice went really low and rumbly, but it didn't really matter, because Colin already knew exactly how he could help. As much as Mr Wayne hates metas, he'd gotten over his objections to Robin teaming up with Abuse a long time ago. And yeah, Colin barely ever Hulked up these days—school and Dami were more important—but it wasn't like he'd _lost_ the ability or anything. He could totally do this. A secret superhero, stalking the night in places even Batman feared to tread, striking a blow for truth, justice, and getting Dami into bed for a full nights sleep. He'd help them all and they'd never have to know.

Batman found him on his first night out. Robin on his fifth. Neither one were happy with him, but he was a strong, independent Colin who didn't need Batman or Robin telling him what to do with his free time. So he kept at it. He busted up gangs and dragged Two-Face and Killer Croc back to Arhkam by the scruff of their necks. He saved Nightwing from a thug who almost shot him—Dick wasn't really happy with Colin either, but after lecturing him about doing his homework and making sure his grades didn't slip, he was surprisingly cool about working together. They even managed to pull a sting on Penguin that got him sent to jail for almost a whole week before his lawyers got him out. He'd almost forgotten how much fun it was being a full time vigilante.

And then, by some miracle, nearly a month later the strange crime wave suddenly stopped. Two days after, Operation Dami was back on.

“Colin, why are we here?” Dami asked.

“Here” was one of the nicest restaurants in Gotham. It was unheard of to get a reservation sooner than two months in advance, but when Colin had called he'd pretended to be Mr Wayne's PA and maybe sort of implied the reservation was for him and Dami instead of Colin and Dami. They cleared up a spot right away, but the _mater dee_ person hadn't stopped giving Colin dirty looks the whole time he was showing them to their table. They were lucky Dami didn't notice, or they already would have been thrown out for getting blood all over the really nice floors.

“We're celebrating,” Colin said, smiling happily.

Dami raised an eyebrow. “Celebrating what, exactly?”

_The next step in our relationship._

Of course, he couldn't say that, because seducing needed to be done in secret or else it wasn't seducing.

“It's our four year, six month and two week anniversary,” Colin said.

Dami looked at him like he was crazy.

“No, really! I counted.”

“I'm sure you did,” Dami muttered.

“Does it really matter though?” Colin asked. “I mean, this is the first time in like almost two months we've been able to be alone together—” He yawned. “—without you passing out. That's reason enough to wanna go somewhere nice.”

Dami studied him for a long time. “You seem tired.”

“Not at all!”

To prove it, Colin signaled for a waiter and they placed their order. Colin wasn't exactly sure _what_ he ordered, since everything on the menu was in French or Italian or Russian or something, but it ended up being a fancy turkey thing that was probably the best tasting thing he'd ever eaten. He totally got why this place was so expensive. He really needed to thank Dick for lending him the money to take Dami, in addition to the crash course in seduction he'd given Colin.

(Well, _romance_ more than seduction, but it was close enough. Colin would have _died_ if he had to ask Dick how to actually _seduce_ Dami. Mostly because Dick would have killed him. Or been scarily enthusiastic. Instead all he did was give Colin a whole bunch of really weird things to say about Dami's eyes and hair.)

Conversation flowed as they ate, which Colin was incredibly proud of because getting Dami fully into a “civilian” conversation was only a little bit easier than getting him to be nice to Timmy. He wondered if Dami had been missing Colin as much as Colin had been missing him these past few months.

“I don't understand your problem,” Dami was saying as they finished their meal. “The new movies are excellent, and Harrison Ford is too old to keep playing Han Solo forever. Killing him off was a sensible choice.”

“It's not—!” Colin forced himself to finish chewing and swallow before going on. Spraying half eaten food at Dami was the opposite of sexy. “It's not just because Han died. And I don't _hate_ the new movies, I just don't like that they overwrote everything that happened in the Expanded Universe. There are _hundreds_ of books and comics and characters that are completely gone now, and the stuff they replaced them with is _good_ but it's not _better_.”

“Books most people have never read.”

“So?” Colin glared. “Most people don't know martial arts either, that doesn't mean they know the best fighting techniques.”

“Are you comparing—”

“ _And_ ,” Colin said, cutting him off, “JJ Abrams has _no_ idea how the Force works.”

“The Force doesn't work at all. It's _fictional_.”

Colin had to grab the edge of the table to keep from jumping out of his seat. “ _That doesn't matter_! Just because—”

The amazingly _epic_ rant Colin was about to unleash about fictional forms of magic, their rules, and how it was _blasphemy_ when writers started ignoring them died in his throat when he saw the small, amused twist to Dami's lips.

“...you're winding me up on purpose, aren't you.”

“Of course.” A small, barely noticeable flush appeared on Dami's cheeks. “I enjoy seeing you release your passion.”

Holy.

Freaking.

 _Crap_.

Colin's face _burned_. A fact Dami seemed pleasantly surprised by.

“O-oh,” Colin stammered out, every single one of his seduction plans forgotten in the face of Dami's...flirting? Was that flirting? Was Dami actually _flirting_ with him? In _public_?

The pleased look on Dami's face started to fade when it became obvious that was all Colin was going to say.

_You idiot! Dick taught you how to flirt! Say something back!_

“You too.”

_Not that!_

Colin could feel the night slipping away from him.

“I mean!” He chewed his lip. “You're—”

He was cut off by another yawn.

“Are you sure you're not tired?”

“I'm fine.”

Dami didn't look convinced.

“If you're not feeling well you don't need to force yourself to stay out just for me.”

Colin was sure if anyone _but_ Dami had said that, it would have been passive aggressive. Dami didn't do _passive,_ though _,_ especially not when aggression was involved.

“I'm not,” Colin said, smiling as reassuringly as he could. “There's nowhere I'd rather be than out with you.”

_Hey, that was pretty good._

Colin almost preened, then _did_ preen when he saw the way Dami's expression relaxed.

“If you say so,” Dami said, a teasing lilt to his voice.

_He's flirting again. Flirt back this time! But don't say anything about passions!_

“You're really hot.”

Somewhere, Colin knew Dick was cringing.

Or maybe not, because Dami started to flush in the way Dick had described as being a good sign.

“You are too,” Dami said, glancing down at the tablecloth. He licked his lips, then blurted out, “Your eyes are like oceans of...water.”

_Did he just..._

“And your hair!” Dami added quickly. “Um. It's soft. And it has...points. Like windswept...mountains.”

Dami flushed again, but this time it was definitely the bad kind, according to Dick. He swore under his breath and muttered, “Stupid Todd, how am I supposed to remember such inane tripe?”

Colin's eyes widened.

“Did _Jason_ tell you to say that stuff?”

Dami stilled, which was all the answer Colin needed.

“Those are my lines!”

Dami frowned. “What?”

“Dick gave me those same lines to say to you!”

“You...went to Grayson for advice on how to seduce me?”

“Yeah!” _Wait..._ “No! You asked Jason how to seduce me?”

“I asked for advice on a lot of things,” Dami said quickly. “And I wasn't going to try anything tonight. It's only our first date.”

“No it's not, we've been—”

“I know we've been on many dates, but this is the first once since I decided I wanted to...go further. I wouldn't ask you to jump into bed with me without a proper seduction, which means at least three dates...”

Dami trailed off, looking more embarrassed than Colin had ever seen him. It was adorable, but then again, that was Dami's default state as far as Colin was concerned. Suddenly, he had no idea why he'd been so shy earlier. This was _Dami;_ the one person he never had to be ashamed in front of.

 _I can't believe he went to_ Jason _to learn how to seduce me. And that Jason gave him Dick's flirting lines._

Colin melted, just a little. But more importantly...

“You really want to do things with me?”

Dami blushed again, then sharply nodded once.

Colin grinned. “Good! Because I got a hotel room for us.”

“What?”

“Well, actually Greg got it for me, since I'm too young and he aged out of the orphanage last week, but he did it with my money. It's not—I mean, it's just an EconoLodge, but it took me long enough to save up for one night there, and it's under Greg's name, so no one will know we're there and—”

“I'm not having sex with you on our first date!” Dami said, probably a little louder than he meant to but, unlike the constipated looking old lady at the table next to them, he didn't seem to notice. “I refuse to treat you like some kind of harlot.”

“Then it's a good thing this is our third date since _I_ decided to seduce _you_.”

Dami's eyes widened for almost a full second before he managed to smooth out his expression. “O-oh...?”

“Yep.” Colin nodded happily, then began ticking off the dates. “The bumper cars, when I brought you that picnic in bed, and tonight. Three dates.”

“Bumper cars? We haven't been to bumper cars in...” Dami trailed off. “You've been seducing me for _months_...? How is that possible?”

Colin smirked. “I'm just _that_ good.”

_Or maybe not, since I guess he never noticed..._

Dami didn't call him out on his bragging, which Colin was really happy about.

“And...you want to...consummate our relationship?”

Colin frowned. _Consu...? Oh! He means getting it on._

“Yep!”

“T-tonight?”

Colin nodded again. Dami didn't say anything else, and for the first time that night Colin started to worry. He knew _he_ wanted to have sex, but he'd never actually asked _Dami_...

“Is...that okay?”

Dami's eyes snapped towards him. “Of course!”

The problem was though, Colin had known Dami for over four years which, when he thought about it, seemed impossible. Sometimes it felt like he'd known Dami his entire life, just because the life he had before Dami and the one he has after Dami were so dramatically different it was like he was two different people. And as distracted and unobservant as Colin could, occasionally, be, there was no way he hadn't been spending every second of his life with Dami mentally cataloging every tiny piece of information about him that he could—with a special emphasis on facial expressions, mostly because Dami had, like, a third of the expressions everyone else did, but he somehow used those expressions to display about four times the feelings as most people. This facial expression? The slightly stuck out jaw with the eye contact that was _too_ deliberate? It was classic I'm-pretending-I'm-okay-with-this-because-I'm-too-scared-to-admit-that-I'm-not Dami.

And Colin?

Well.

He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit he was disappointed. This whole sex thing had been built up and up and up in his head for months and he had no idea how he was going to go back to being so close to Dami without being able to do things...but he'd manage. What he had with Dami had never been about sex. Not really. Sure, it had started because he wanted to kiss his best friend, but even that had been because he had no other way to express all the _feelings_ he'd been having. Feelings were what was important. Sex could wait.

“Dami...maybe...”

Dami's lips pressed together so hard they turned white.

_He's getting ready to argue with me, isn't he? No matter what I say he's gonna take it bad and say he's ready to have sex just to prove he can._

Even if Colin managed to put it off tonight, he knew he'd never really be able to fully trust that Dami was really ready when they finally did do it. Not if Dami thought he was the one holding them up with what he'd _definitely_ see as fear or weakness.

“Maybe I'm not okay with it.”

Dami stilled, then frowned.

“Not okay with what?” he asked.

“Going further.”

Instead of relaxing like Colin expected, Dami jerked and drew himself up like a cobra before it attacked.

“You don't want to have intercourse with me?”

Colin realized his mistake right away.

 _He thinks I don't want him_.

“No! I...” He lowered his voice so that nosy old lady wouldn't hear him. “I want you so bad. I can't stop thinking about how much I want you. You're _perfect,_ Dami. I just don't think I'm ready for sex yet.”

Colin looked down at the table. He was terrible at lying and even worse at acting, but he thought if he really had just spent months on a seduction he couldn't go through with he'd be pretty embarrassed about it, so not making eye contact probably wasn't suspicious.

“Oh,” Dami said. Neither one of them said anything for what seemed like forever. Then, Dami got up from the table. Colin's head shot up. _Is he_ leaving _!?_ But even before the thought was fully formed Dami was around the table and standing next to him. He paused— _hesitated,_ Colin realized—then very quickly leaned down and gave Colin a hug.

“That's okay,” Dami said. “We can wait as long as you need.”

Colin barely had time to hug him back before he pulled away and took his seat again, but that was okay. And so was the fact that he was going to have to jerk off like, ten times a day now to keep from accidentally pressuring Dami. They fell back into their earlier conversation like nothing ever happened, but Colin couldn't keep himself from grinning like an idiot every few minutes anyway. Third date, first date, or just another in a long line of dates that would go on for the rest of their lives didn't really matter in the end. Public affection from Dami was so much better than a _hundred_ orgasms.

Best. Date. Ever.

(Although, it turned out to be a good thing they weren't going to have sex after dinner, because Colin fell asleep at the table while they were waiting for the check. Dami fussed over him for the next three days. Colin didn't mind nearly as much as he pretended to.)

 


End file.
